Happy Mother’s Day To All
Maybe today is Mother’s day in your country or maybe not, but I still think mother’s need to be celebrated often and more than just once a day because as Moms we generally exceed the expectations of what is humanly possible or conceivable in a day and even more in a year. So take a bow moms and enjoy the day!
Take the time today to connect with your kids and remember why motherhood is so important. You are there forming the lives of these incredible human beings, giving them life was only the beginning but the work that lies ahead everyday into shaping, connecting and helping them blossom into their own person is an endless task but one you should enjoy and remember how important your role is in their life and how important their role is in yours.
Give yourself a well deserved break from the criticism, guilt, regret and anxiety and stop comparing and contrasting everything. You are unique and as a result so are your children. Let their individuality blossom. And remember your mothering is as good as anyone else’s because I trust you are doing your best and you are there doing it. Everyday I strive to be better and everyday I strive to do more for my children, my family and for me. But at the end of the day I let go of the feelings of guilt and regret and remember that I am human and doing the best I can with what I have in this moment and will strive to do better tomorrow with the tools and lessons I’ve acquired along the way.
If you need to reconnect with your children or your purpose as a mother, perhaps after a hard week of work or just feeling distant in general or maybe you are facing your own personal challenges try one of these tips to strengthen your bond with your kids and boost your confidence;
- Try to Connect Before Setting Limitations: If you have any concerns with your child, such as their underperforming in studies and lack of seriousness towards life then instead of scolding them constantly, you must always connect with them and communicate to know their reservations. Once you do this, you can then proceed to set limitations that might help to make things work out for them. I often catch myself doing this as an afterthought and try very hard to respond not react but it’s a habit of mine to react and let all my anger and fear rise to the top first. I always correct my action and go to my kids and explain why I reacted and scolded and that I’ll try to do better and talk to them about their behaviour. This method doesn’t work as well as if you connect first before the consequences or the TALK but it still lets your kids know that you are human, trying to improve and admit your mistakes. It is ok to say your sorry to your children, in fact they appreciate this and don’t see it as a sign of weakness or submissiveness. Willing to admit your mistakes is a great lesson you can give your children, that they not be afraid of their imperfections, failures and shortcomings.
- Cook Their Favourite Meal: Most children always have a favourite dish. If you have had a busy week or feel like you’ve some how neglected your family then a good idea to cheer up your children and rekindle with them can be to make their favorite meal. If it requires a bit more time than plan it for a weekend and let them all help in the cooking process.
- Set up a Tradition or Family Night; Kids love the sense of security, familiarity and inclusion. Any tradition or event that is your families own special ritual on a weekly basis or a yearly basis kids hold on to that, look forward to it and remember it as one of their most special memories of childhood. Before we moved to Germany, my husband and I would take our kids every Christmas before Christmas eve to Killarney, Ireland and we would visit Santa, go ice skating, stay in a lovely hotel for 3 days and just enjoy the Christmas atmosphere. My kids still to this very day talk about those memories. We also have the tradition of mass on Sundays, which they too cherish as something we do as a family and do every week to give thanks to God and to spend time with the community of people who share in our belief that there s something bigger than us and that we need to worship and remember that often. We also have a movie night, mostly ever Friday, where we might get a pizza and salads and watch something on Netflix, this the kids look forward to also and its something we all do together, not just the kids but as a family and they often get very upset if we miss this. But see what you have accidentally made a tradition and lend more importance to it or just start something new it’ll really help the family connect as a whole. This year we will be starting a camping tradition with my kids since they are a bit older and we live in Germany..i’ll let you guys know how that goes! (excited and scared)
- Connect with your children individually; all my children are very different one enjoys video games and TV, the other loves cuddly toys and some good books, my other little boy loves just playing with me at the park and my eldest girl loves shopping or doing arts and craft with me. So take a bit of time to spend with your children individually they will appreciate this and you too will feel more connected to them individually. It can be overwhelming to try and please all your children in one day so focus on one each day and both you and them will get the benefits.
- Make Weekends Fun: Weekends might be the only time you get free time without the chaos of scheduling, chores, schools homework, study, tutors, bake sales, soccer, dance etc. etc. etc. the list is endless…and Yes I know some of the weekend needs to be reserved for MORE chores and errands but try and utilise this time for a bit of a parenting reboot. The dust will wait your children’s childhood will not…so choose wisely. Spend it with your children, find out what is happening, take the time to talk and help them out, cook with them or go for a walk with them. Plan some time out and if you don’t have the energy to go out or to plan after the long week, let the kids take over and plan it! (with a little supervision and guidance, of course, if not we’d end up in the Disneyland, Paris every weekend with not a dime to our name! haha!) but take advantage of those days off.
And in the words of Art Williams; “I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it”
Enjoy your day Mama! You deserve it! And remember stay YUMMY!