Being a parent is a challenge, constantly questioning if you are doing the right thing, if your children are developing at the right pace and worrying about the future. But it is also the most amazing journey and you have been entrusted to raise these tiny humans into adults, molding their minds into strong, independent members of society.
This independence can be both a blessing and a curse! Take my daughter for instance, she has been dressing herself for years now, but this leads to conflict when she decides a summer dress is suitable attire for the rain or that it’s perfectly acceptable to wear black wool tights in stifling July heat! Add to this eccentric style her stubbornness (don’t know where this came from!) and you have a recipe for disaster! Cue huffing, eye rolling, foot stamping, door slamming and a bit of shouting on my part. I know I’m wrong to shout but in the moment, with all the drama, (eye rolling makes me crazy!) it’s hard sometimes to keep your cool.
I realised recently that no matter how much I yell,the arguments are never resolved because she hasn’t learnt what she was doing wrong and so she repeats the action again and again! Vicious cycle! Most of the time when I give out, it’s safety related. ‘Watch your brother’ is my most spoken phrase as she sometimes forgets that he’s so much smaller (i.e 5 year age gap!). I usually end up repeating what I want her to do (or stop doing) four times and at that point I’m boiling over.
So in an effort to keep my blood pressure down and save me from a heart attack at 25, I’ve come up with a new tactic! Instead of correcting her action, I call her name and say ‘think’. This is her cue to try to figure out what she’s doing wrong. Then we discuss why it’s dangerous or naughty and we agree that she will try harder in the future. It provides a great opportunity to discuss actions and consequences with your child. I’ve also started to allow for natural consequences to be a reminder to her that she should have listened, within reason. If she wants to wear tights in the sun, I tell her I don’t think she should, but let her make the decision and if she ends up complaining of the heat, I remind her that it was her choice and I had warned her!
I’m still in the early days of this new parenting tip but hopefully it will be a massive success!
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and of course, Stay Yummy !