Today I want to share one of the greatest lessons that I’ve learned in my life to date and hope it can inspire you or someone you know who needs to just let go a bit of control in life and just go with the flow a little bit more. Since I can remember, I tried to control everything that had a direct or even indirect impact on my life. When people didn’t like me, others ideas or even someone’s own life that I thought should be better, whatever I felt I could do or even not do I would push myself to try and control it all. My control was so intense that ultimately it consumed me entirely, my thoughts, actions and focus were all directed on taking inventory and stock of everything around me. As I grew up along came more responsibilities, therefore more to control. Ultimately, the stress and anxiety caused me to literally burn out. I ended up utterly exhausted, in a state of complete confusion not knowing where to go, what to think or what to do. I had to stand still, something I had never done in my life. Something I had never learned to do. I had to stand still in my confusion and realise that my mind had forced itself to wipe the slate clean and it was time to relearn everything I thought knew about life and managing it.
So if you, like me, struggle with the control issue, with guiding every aspect of your life to fit into a perfect snapshot, timeline or 5-year plan. I leave you with some food for thought; treat your life like a body of water, recognise it is never consistent. Recognise sometimes it needs to flow like a river and you need to go with the flow and not exhaust yourself swimming upstream. Other times, you need to stand still like a lake, tranquil on the surface, calm and composed but underneath full of life, movement and purpose. The current of life can be strong and sometimes you may need to push against it or choose between two streams, but only you know if you have the strength, courage and support to overcome it. But know that it’s ok to surrender when you just don’t have the skills to survive that wave at that very moment and face being consumed by that wave, there will be ultimately be meaning for your life. Letting go of control doesn’t mean letting go of your intention or goals, nor does it mean giving up, sometimes it just means letting life push you in the direction it intends for you and hopefully it is a gentle nudge. My experiences were not always so gentle because I resisted learning this very principle. But as my beloved and belated literary mother Maya Angelou would say; in the moment of your deepest sorrow, biggest failures, largest rejections and consuming grief over what life has dealt you, look up to the heavens and say “Thank you Lord, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You” because you will come to know that even in those moments you have been pushed into the life meant for you. Ultimately you can have a deep, powerful and endlessly diverse life, that impacts the world and fulfils you. Ultimately, YOU can be that deep blue ocean that reaches the ends of the Earth and has endless life and depth to it.
My personal journey is one of a constant struggle to push against my nature and old habits. To keep myself grounded in the knowledge that l need only a vision, not a map. Let life guide you through it and revel in all its lessons. Don’t push too hard against the current of life, go with the flow a bit more.
A Yummy Mummy Tip
Try to listen to yourself; sit still with your thoughts and feel your emotions. What emotions are you feeling, what are you not accepting or trying too hard to control. Let it all go…..breathe, pay close attention and life will guide you.
And of course Stay Yummy