We’ve all had relationships that didn’t work out for any number of reasons, but sometimes relationships can be toxic, even deadly. Leaving a psychologically damaging or physically violent partner can be the most difficult choice a person can make. Why you say? Surely if they are violent then you get out straight away? If only it was that simple in every case.
Psychological abuse can be just as damaging as physical in most cases, they both leave the victim scarred. The trouble with the mind games that are played is you genuinely believe them. ‘No one will want you, why would they?’ ‘I’ll never let you be with anyone else’ there are a million ways to belittle someone and make them feel worthless. It starts off with little remarks,your weight, your skin, your clothes, until every outfit you wear has to pass inspection and every decision you make is ‘the safest option’. This control often escalates and becomes physical. Don’t let it.
Do not let the small things slip. Any sign of control issues, address them, if your partner isn’t happy about that, then leave. You should never feel afraid, uncomfortable or controlled in any relationship, whether it’s a partner or a friend. Find support and look for help if you don’t think you can do it on your own.
Don’t let anybody clip your wings.
You are enough, you are exactly what someone out there is looking for, just wait and see. I found my happy ending, you can too.
A Yummy Mummy Tip
If you are not in this situation yourself but notice that someone close to you, a friend or a family member has changed or become more isolated after becoming involved in a new relationship try to pay attention and ask questions carefully to make sure that person knows you are there not to judge or to force them to do anything but to listen and help when they need you. I would even go as far as offering help to a perfect stranger because you just never know what that person may be going through or how the situation can end up for them, and you might literally save their life by letting them know you, a perfect stranger can help or support them in any way they need.
Look at this amazing experiment set up by ABC’s hit show WWYD, where strangers stepped in to see if a woman who look battered, alone and scared needed help to walk away from the man they perceived to be the cause of her despair.